Welcome to typingtotaipei.com!!!
Yesterday, I finally bit the bullet and made this blog a .com! (Please now directly visit typingtotaipei.com). I am feeling giddy and nervous at the same time about it. It feels weird looking at the clean web address- over the past year I’d grown accustom to rattling off the additional
wordpress component of my web address.
I had been thinking about the move/purchase for quite a while- every time I thought I’d finally do it, I would psyche myself out. The small annual expense was an easy barrier to justify putting it off again and again. My reservation wasn’t about the money however.
I guess I was waiting for the right time. Waiting for my writing to improve. Waiting for more acknowledgment. Waiting for more opportunities to showcase my work. Waiting for more page views. Waiting to see whether I was really committed. Waiting, waiting, waiting for a year.
Essentially, I was waiting to feel a sense of legitimacy. I felt my writing would be out of place at a .com. That it wasn’t even worth the measly US$23 it took to set up this new website. That my blog was silly and stupid and just a ridiculous side project which I sometimes cringed at myself. Even a year on, I am still genuinely still mystified by the fact that let alone I even have readers- I have loyal followers and supporters.
To change over to a .com would be to say to others and myself, “I think my work/views/insights are worthy and legitimate”. And perhaps, I’m never going to feel entirely comfortable with confidently embracing such a thought. That fundamental sense of self-worth has eluded me since I was knee high, and such doubts manifest aggressively with my own perception and valuing of my writing.
If I were to keep waiting, I would have never made the change– I had created a sturdy wall of excuses decorated with tangling vines of self doubt. I needed to just jump in, and believe that I’ll stay afloat.
Maybe you can relate to this feeling in your own lives? That fear which paralyses you and tells you you’re not good enough, or that you’ve already peaked or that what you’re doing is a joke and everyone is secretly laughing behind your back? That all your achievements were a result of luck, and you’re really not as “good” as you look on paper (major case of impostor syndrome here…)
Eventually, you come to a point where you either resolve yourself to always live crippled by, well, yourself. Or you can try having your own back for once, and make a conscious move to act swiftly before the onset of self doubt eats away at it.
I’ve been so fortunate to date to receive so much support from friends, family and unimaginably, strangers. Thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart. I know I always say it, but your words of encouragement, feedback and advice really do mean mean the world to me. Pushing me to keep writing when you tell me my more humorous entries made you laugh, my more personal ones touched a nerve, and my recommendations inspired a trip out.
It’s been really beautiful sharing a bit of my life with you, and having the privilege to get a bit of an insight into your own. Every time I do something exciting, or something is niggling at me, all I can think about is how much I want to share it here with you all. I should even thank the “haters” not for their conduct, but for making me look at my own work more critically and making me write and edit more thoroughly.
A couple of weeks back, pretty much to the date of Typing to Taipei’s 1 year anniversary, I hit a personal milestone by clocking over 10,000 page views, from viewers in over 60 countries. (You may remember when I celebrated with 4000!). I had a mini internal celebration as I gawked at the number. From this blog, I have received opportunities to write for Travelog, Focus Taiwan and Taipei Trends. I’ve had the chance to meet inspiring fellow bloggers and even some readers (if you ever spot me, please come say hi!). I realised, writing is what I want to do with my life.
All of this, and I still struggled to nurture my work, and essentially myself as a writer. I am not saying this to gloat at all. Rather, I think I needed to write out all those “achievements” to recognise how far I’ve come over this year because I am usually clouded by my hesitations.
Typingtotaipei.com is not a change merely in name, but I hope, a marker of a change within me. It’s a reminder to work on believing in the value of my words. A constant nudge to practice saying without a sliver of doubt- this is my work, and I’m proud of it. I didn’t ever expect my blog to “take off” in the ways I listed above.
It was something so personal that became something so much bigger and more inclusive than I could ever hope for. At times, it’s brought me some stress, but overwhelmingly, writing here has brought me ridiculous amounts of joy, knowledge and discovery.
Now I’ve got my .com and a beautiful new banner created by the next big thing in graphic design and illustration, Rachel Frances, I feel Typing To Taipei has progressed to a new stage of development. I’m planning to try to keep things fresh by writing more regularly, finally add to my Tummy to Taipei series, streamline the interface and hopefully set up some collaborations.
From its inception, Typing To Taipei was a little gift to myself, and I hope you’ll continue to come for the ride.
Thanks everyone, for everything.